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Day 243. Prim and Proper (or, a rant to keep myself sane).
Feb. 14th, 2009 | 10:24 am
[I would put this under a cut, given the content, but I didn't.]
I've hit a point where I'm tired of being angry and upset all the time. It's beyond grumpy at this point. Really, you'd be the same if you dreamt about ants for the third time in the past four nights. Last night it actually woke me up in a shock. I had to go check my bathroom to make sure they weren't there, this morning I checked the other place they've been coming from.
The bigger problem seems to be I have my own personal Captain Hammer to my Dr. Horrible (if I had a freeze ray I would be so happy), and I don't want to be walking around in ball of suffering because of it. (http://drhorrible.com/)
To quote Barney from HIMYM "You have to do, do, do."
Even better, I was thinking about that quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, the one that says people will only make you feel bad if you let them.
For once sage advice didn't make my mood worse, and I had enough space in my brain to actually think about it.
So yes, I am really, extremely tired of having this Captain Hammer of mine mess with my life so much that it's affecting (effecting?) everything I do. I don't want to consider myself a fragile person anymore, don't want to be a pushover who works at an equilibrium of fairness that no one else works at, attempting to keep everything level so no one gets angry.
Because I do get angry. Expressing anger is not one of my strengths. I don't want to snap, and I don't want to be stuck under someones (metaphorical) fist like I feel I am now, I just want to stop and breath and tell the people(person) I need to, to back off.
Anybody have any non-vengeful tips on how to do that? How do you argue with a person who doesn't ever back down and just loops the argument around? 'Cause when I get confused in an argument I give up and just sit in my room watching Dr. Horrible over and over.
[I really need to get a pro account to get some more appropriate/awesome icons]
I've hit a point where I'm tired of being angry and upset all the time. It's beyond grumpy at this point. Really, you'd be the same if you dreamt about ants for the third time in the past four nights. Last night it actually woke me up in a shock. I had to go check my bathroom to make sure they weren't there, this morning I checked the other place they've been coming from.
The bigger problem seems to be I have my own personal Captain Hammer to my Dr. Horrible (if I had a freeze ray I would be so happy), and I don't want to be walking around in ball of suffering because of it. (http://drhorrible.com/)
To quote Barney from HIMYM "You have to do, do, do."
Even better, I was thinking about that quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, the one that says people will only make you feel bad if you let them.
For once sage advice didn't make my mood worse, and I had enough space in my brain to actually think about it.
So yes, I am really, extremely tired of having this Captain Hammer of mine mess with my life so much that it's affecting (effecting?) everything I do. I don't want to consider myself a fragile person anymore, don't want to be a pushover who works at an equilibrium of fairness that no one else works at, attempting to keep everything level so no one gets angry.
Because I do get angry. Expressing anger is not one of my strengths. I don't want to snap, and I don't want to be stuck under someones (metaphorical) fist like I feel I am now, I just want to stop and breath and tell the people(person) I need to, to back off.
Anybody have any non-vengeful tips on how to do that? How do you argue with a person who doesn't ever back down and just loops the argument around? 'Cause when I get confused in an argument I give up and just sit in my room watching Dr. Horrible over and over.
[I really need to get a pro account to get some more appropriate/awesome icons]